This morning's prayer time was one of those that began, "Dear God, I'm sorry..." I continually wrestle with my pride. God continually reminds me to be humble and I resist until He breaks through. Usually some profound thought or idea comes into my head and I realize that God is trying to get my attention. This morning the idea was what is going on at our church. God has called us to be a marker for the Gospel in our community. The more I think about leading a dynamic, growing family of faith, I tend to think that it has something to do with me. Then, I realize that without the Lord's leadership and direction, we'll perish (read Exodus 33:15). My desire is that we will not attempt anything without the Lord's approval and guidance. If we go anywhere or do anything, it has to be at His command.
So, my prayer this morning was, "Dear God, I'm sorry for getting ahead of you. I'm sorry for thinking that I have any kind of ingenuity that demands your attention. My life is yours. Our church is yours." My mind goes back to words like Isaiah 55:6-9 - "Seek the Lord because He is worthy. His thoughts are not our thoughts. His ways are higher than our ways. (my paraphrase)."
Even though I begin prayer that way sometime, I realize even more that God is faithful and gracious. He hears my penitent prayers and yet is patient with me, knowing that my battle is not finished. I will continually battle pride. However, I find comfort in the Scriptures.
"If you live by the flesh, you will die but if, by the Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the flesh, you will live." - Romans 8:13
What deeds are you putting to death in your life? When was the last time your prayer started, "Dear God, I'm sorry..."?